just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Oh god it's open bar.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
