just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
