she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He? As in you personified your dick?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
