addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
