Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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