Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize