I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
