I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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