i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
