he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Slut skills are useful in every country.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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