Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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