shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize