Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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