All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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