So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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