Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I take back everything I said about communal showers
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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