PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
