She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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