It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
