i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
