Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
