if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
