if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
birth control should be required to get into college
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
