i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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