I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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