you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
