i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
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I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
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why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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