Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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