This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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