Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
there is glitter all over my balls
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
