This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.