apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize