do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me