Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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