He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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