2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
