The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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