i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
