Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
