9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
should my penis look like a turkey
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
