WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i wish my penis had a tongue
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
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kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
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The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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