So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
