apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
