Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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