I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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