I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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