I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
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I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
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He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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