sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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