CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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