Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
