Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize