You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
