Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
