Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
