i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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