I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
