she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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