Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
