Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
