I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
